End of the warp……….
In a 12 hour period I received two emails of note. The first one essentially said I was too intimidating for one of the chat groups I had been participating in and I was ruining the group discussions.
The second one this morning said that the workshop the writer had taken from me several years ago was ‘weaveforming’ for her (and if that wasn’t a word it should be.) 🙂
Between those two emails I had to do a lot of thinking, particularly about my presence on the web.
I had to come to grips with the fact that my willingness to answer newbie questions was not being perceived as helpful but as being intimidating. I can understand that people might get the impression that I was a nosey-parker butt-insky. I just thought I was being helpful, answering heart felt cries for help.
Such is the nature of human behaviour.
It has been difficult for my ego to accept that I have outlived my usefullness in certain social contexts. When my participation puts a damper on social intercourse instead being helpful, it’s long past time to go.
So I immediatly left.
But my nature is to be helpful. I truly hate to see people struggling with something when there is – perhaps – an easier way to do something and I may know one of those ways.
I do not, never have claimed, that I know everything. Anyone reading this blog regularly will be aware that I delight in the discoveries that come my way. That I don’t profess to be a know-it-all but am rather, a perpetual student.
That I chose weaving precisely because I understood from the outset that I would never, ever know everything there is to know about the creation of woven textiles.
But I do know a great deal about portions of the craft and I have always – since my first newsgroup in 1994 – been willing to try to answer any questions that I could or point people in the direction of potential answers.
Since it has been made extremely clear to me that this sort of giving is not welcome in certain areas, I have had to re-think and focus on what I ought to spend my time doing.
It seems to me that it is time to withdraw from the daily interactions of chat groups even more than I have been doing the last few years due to health issues. It seems to me that my time would be better directed towards ‘real’ writing projects. Once my health issues are fixed (at least I am hoping that they will be next spring) and I am able to book workshops, that one thing I could do is be more active in soliciting workshop opportunities.
Up until now I have waited until a group contacts me. Perhaps after my surgery I should start sending out brochures/flyers offering workshops and let people know I am ready, willing and able to come to them to teach.
Right now there is little I can do to chart a new direction in that regard. What I can do is focus my time and energy on developing the content for the proposed ebook I discussed with Syne Mitchell last month. I have started weaving samples for this book and hope to be able to meet with her again during the Seattle Weavers’ Guild sale to show her what I’ve done so far and see if it meets with her approval.
And last, but certainly not least, come to grips with the fact that endings simply mean clearing out old stuff so that new stuff can come in. 🙂