One of the bad things about getting older is that you can no longer ignore the fact that you are not immortal. You sense all the dreams and wishes you may have had beginning to slip out of your grasp. There is a certain amount of regret involved in this in-your-face realization.
On the other hand, one of the good things about getting older is that your perspective shifts and things that used to seem so important are less so. You begin to really focus on the things that mean the most to you because, let’s face it….you are not immortal and if you truly want to get certain things accomplished before your body gives up entirely (yes, all those aches and pains are reminders that time is short) you’d better get a move on.
If my younger brother had not suddenly and rather dramatically died in 2008, I would have been gone a couple of years ago. So I’m on what I call Bonus Time. Every day I get up out of bed is a gift. Sometimes I forget that, but I try very hard to stay in the now, stay grateful, stay focused on what is truly important to me.
As I near my 62nd birthday I have had to look closely at those things that I do consider important. And some of them I have had to let go of and get over the fact that they are never going to happen and really, were they all that important? In a year or two or a hundred, will they really matter?
This past month has been supremely stressful as my mother did not do well with her knee surgery, life got challenging financially, my health wobbled (allergies) and the constant underlying knowledge that I have not one but three chronic health issues that sap me of energy and remind me almost daily that time is short, precious and not to be recovered once it is gone.
May 9 was not only our wedding anniversary but the anniversary of my angioplasty which gave me the gift of a longer life. I cannot afford to get distracted by other people’s dramas, especially when they take away from my own life with little in return.
So once again I am reminded that ‘when the oxygen masks drop, put yours on before trying to help others’.
What conclusions have I come to regarding what is important?
1. Continuing to weave and exercise my creativity (and hope that others will be inspired to purchase my textiles which will enable that!)
2. Share my love of weaving with those who are just as passionate about the craft as I am.
All else, as they say, depends.