Yesterday I found myself saying “If you are only as old as you feel, I feel ‘old’.”
And it’s true.
I just didn’t expect it to happen so young.
Today is our 49th wedding anniversary. Today is 11 years since my brother died and I was ‘saved’ from dying the same way – undiagnosed cardiac blockages. Eight years since the cancer diagnosis. Can it only be four years since triple by-pass surgery? It seems like much longer ago than that.
It’s been 44 years of weaving at a production level, learning as much as I can about the craft – the physical skills, the theory – and how to convey that information to others. And wearing out my loom – and body.
I turn 69 this year. I have been dancing with ‘semi’ retirement for several years. As I enter my next decade, it may be time to focus on ‘full’ instead of ‘semi’.
I feel old.
But! Being ‘old’ isn’t a ‘bad’ thing! Being ‘old’ means I have had a lifetime of experiences, a lifetime of memories, a lifetime of learning.
Being ‘old’ means I don’t have to pay much attention to societal expectations, conform to other people’s views of how I, as a female member of society, ‘should’ look, dress, behave.
Being ‘old’ means I don’t have to worry too much about the future because I have a lot less of that in my future.
Life comes, does it’s thing, dies. None of us gets out of here alive. So, best we should live while we are here.
Just finished reading Holy Sister by Mark Lawrence, vol 3 in his trilogy of The Ancestor.